Berwald and the Video Tape
by Berwee's Crackalakin Conundrum
Summary: In this crack-tastic story, Berwald goes to a random family reunion, and has a crazy night he can't remember.  Will he be able to find the video tape of the previous night, or will there be too many distractions?  Story not to be taken seriously XD


Once upon a time, there was a boy named Berwald. Berwald was a rather shy, lonely boy, who didn't have many friends. One day he went to a family reunion that was advertised on a billboard. There were many children his own age, but one particular child caught his eye. He was a small boy with a deep red rug of hair on his head. Berwald walked over to the unusual looking boy, who was playing with his brothers. He was staring into the distance while his companions fought, but he looked almost like he was sleeping because his eyes were shut. Berwald poked the neurotic-looking boy's cheek.

"Oi..."

"Hey you have no right to touch Ita-chan!" A girl popped out of no where and shouted. Berwald stared at the girl curiously.

"Who are you...?"

"I am Ita-chan's forever protector!" The girl shouted... in a rather deep voice.

"... You sound like a man." The Swedish boy stated bluntly.

"I am a man, _mon ami! _How dare you think of me otherwise!" The chin hair suddenly seemed to pop out of nowhere on the mans face as Berwald studied this fact.

"...You're gross..." Berwald simply retorted.

The... boy cried and leaned onto another boy for support. Berwald only cared about the boy called 'Ita-chan' though.

"...Ita-chan... That's a strange name..." Berwald mumbled under his breath. He must of said it louder than he thought though because another boy popped up and started on an angry rant.

"...Excuse me?" The Swede asked in confusion.

"Oi! Don't speak while I'm talking, bastard. It's fucking rude! And stop messing with _mi fratello! _It's bad enough that potato bastard is hanging around him!"

Berwald felt something ram straight into his back, and when two skinny arms wrapped around his torso, he knew exactly who it was.

"...Arthur?" Berwald glanced back.

"You git why are you hanging around this... scum?" Arthur asked while glaring at his competitors for Swedish property.

"...They are nice people... What's wrong Arthur?"

"N-nothing! I'm just..." Arthur wrapped his arms around Berwald more "...concerned..."

Berwald looked down at the smaller Brit.

"...Let me go so I can get some punch..."

"Nee but Berwee-chan, aren't you allergic to punch bowls?" a voice asked.

"Do not call me that! ...How do you know I am allergic? Only my 3rd cousin knows that!"

"That's right... Nee but your third cousin isn't connected by blood, right?" The voice was still talking. Where was it coming from? Berwald was looking all around, without moving of course because he had an Iggy-weight keeping him in place.

"...You're right... Who are you? Why do you know so much about me?"

The voice continued to talk without answering though. "Nee, so I can do this right?"

Suddenly, Berwald felt someone trying to eat the top of his head. The next few seconds went by so fast, you would think they were milliseconds. He felt two things for sure, one was the feeling of a sharp object digging into his cranium and the other was Arthur crawling up his back to get the person off his head.

"Get off of him, you pompous git!" Arthur yelled.

Berwald's senses were running high towards everything, until suddenly he just felt his face slam into what he supposed was the floor.

"B-Berwald...?" Arthur seemed concerned.

"Vee~ He's just sleeping~ Night night, Berwee-chan!~"

The next morning, Berwald woke up. He glanced at his surroundings and noticed that 'Ita-chan' and Arthur were sleeping next to him. A Russian man, along with a German he recognized as Ludwig, and his brother, Gilbert, were all piled in the closet, sleeping. A French man was taped to the ceiling and he heard him singing.

"No body knows the trouble I've seen..."

Berwald jerks his head up toward the ceiling

"Oi..."

A sudden jolt of pain shot up to his head, it felt like someone had shot through it 50 times. He must of drunk some punch. Berwald grimaced in pain and held his head.

"Wh...What happened last night?"

An Asian person suddenly shot up from the foot of the bed.

"Kiku-sensei recorded all of it, if you want to see. He programs video cameras everywhere."

"...Thank you, random civilian." Berwald got up.

"No problem!" The Asian boy saluted and disappeared back under the sheets of the bed.

Berwald was concerned of where he went for a second, but then he changed his train of thought towards where he could find this recorded footage. He got up and looked at his surroundings. He ran a hand through his hair and thought of where to find Kiku. Suddenly, he felt two arms wrap around his waist line, and he knew exactly who it was.

"...Arthur..."

The arms jolted back. Berwald could hear footsteps darting away from him and small gasps for air.

"Arthur?" Berwald followed the Brit, concerned.

When he turned the corner to find him, however, he saw a small red haired boy with his face in his hands. Berwald curiously walked over to the boy.

"...You okay...?"

The boys arm whapped out, smacking Berwald square in the stomach.

"Oommfph!" Berwald doubled over. "What was that for?"

The boy turned around, finally showing his face to Berwald. His red hair was strangely smooth despite his beaten up appearance. He had a plaster-aid on his forehead, right above his left, ivy-green eye that looked swollen from crying.

"W-what did you do that for? I was just concerned!" Berwald glared at the unknown assailant. The boys' mouth opened, and he began to choke out words.

"I... I am not... Arthur!"

Berwald blinked. "You... then why did you hug me? Only Arthur does that..."

The boy looked shocked at this information, and shot his head down. He proceeded to run away, distressed.

Berwald blinked in confusion, then shook his head and remembered the subject at hand. He continued on his journey to find Kiku. Suddenly, a loud noise came from the bedroom. Berwald turned and ran toward the noise. He opened the door to find 'Ita-chan' kicking a soccer ball in Arthur's face.

"Gooooooal!" someone shouted from above. Berwald looked up to see the Frenchman grinning from ear to ear at what the Italian had just done.

"Wh-what is going on here?" Berwald interrogated.

'Ita-chan' looked over at Berwald with a child-like grin.

"Nee France nii-chan said if I hit Arthur with something, I would get a tomato!"

Berwald sighed heavily then tossed the Italian a tomato he found in the trashcan. He turned to Arthur and helped him up.

"You okay?"

Arthur began to open his mouth, to most likely complain, but suddenly a Chinese man burst into the room.

"I need 50 large pizzas, aru!" exclaimed the Asian.

"Feliciano!" Someone yelled in a deep, burly voice, "50 large pizzas!"

"Nee nee, right away!" Ita-chan responded. So his name was Feliciano...

The Chinese man sighed in relief.

"Thank you, aru! My family is coming over tonight. Yong Soo eats too much, aru."

"Well she was just 17..." The man attached to the ceiling mumbled. Arthur glared up at the Frenchman.

"Can it, frog, you don't deserve to sing such fantastic music... But Berwee can..."

Berwald looked down at the Brit as he said the nickname only he could call him. He could see the yearning of watching Berwald sing in the man's eyes.

"Berwee... please sing... for me?"

Berwald thought about his situation. He'd never sung in his life, except in his 10th grade tap class where some JERKy guys tried to make him join their talent group.

"Please Berwee...?" Arthur's emerald colored eyes glittered with anticipation and want for Berwald's immaculate singing. Berwald continued to think as he stared into the glittering emerald whirlpools that were centimeters away from his face.

"...I will sing." Berwald decided, as Iggy jumped with glee.

"GRAB THIS AWESOME MIC!" the remaining German in the closet shouted at Berwald.

"Ah, thanks..." Berwald took the mic and coughed before singing.

"_...Near...far...wherever you are..."_

Berwald glanced up at the French man, whose mouth was strangely wide open, he looked like he was trying to vacuum something up off the ground. Then all of a sudden, Berwald could no longer hear only his own voice, but another one screaming

"THIS PLACE ABOUT TO..." Everyone in the room proceeded to look at each other then yell "BLOOOOOOOOOOW!"

Suddenly, confetti spurted from everywhere, balloons were flying around, and a stage popped up from the middle of the room where the bed previously was. On the stage was a man with a blue suit on, but his back was turned from the crowd.

"What?" Berwald looked around in confusion. "NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE!"

The man turned around with a giant smile on his face and glasses gleaming before his eyes. He was holding a red and white striped microphone, which he proceeded to talk loudly into.

"HEY YOU GAIZ!" The obnoxious, yet very attractive man yelled.

"Get off the stage, you git!" Arthur yelled.

Berwald looked at Arthur with grief. Only he knew the truth about Arthur and Alfred.

"Come on, Iggy-muffins! Loosen up! AHAHAHAHAHA!" Alfred yelled, while shoving a Big Mac into his mouth.

"DA."

Everyone all of a sudden got extremely quiet, as they all slowly turned to face the closet where the Russian was supposed to be contained.

"I want vodka, da! Would anyone care to get me some?" He scanned the room.

No one spoke. No one moved. No one even dared breathe.

"...I said... I want vodka..." The Russian said with more intimidation.

Alfred burst out laughing. "No one cares about your silly vodka Ivan!" Then suddenly his face went stern. "So go get it yourself, you lousy Commie."

"..."

The whole room went silent, then Ivan picked Alfred up by the arm.

"Let's go show you how much Commies are better than dumb Americans, daaa~." And they left the room, Alfred protesting by sitting and eating his hamburger, while Ivan just dragged him out.

No one did anything for what seemed like ages. Then finally, Berwald looked down at Iggy, who in all the commotion was now sitting on the ground, hugging Berwald's leg. Iggy looked up at the Swede, then promptly let go of his leg.

"I-I wasn't scared or anything!" Arthur stated as he turned a deep shade of pink.

Berwald sighed. He knew Arthur wasn't scared, he was just in shock.

"A-Anyway..." The Brit continued, "What happened last night?"

Berwald suddenly remembered what the Asian boy had told him.

"Eh? You all do not remember?" The Frenchman from the ceiling said. "If you let me down, I can help you remember, _mon ami._"

Berwald looked up at the Frenchy and sighed. "Fine."

"Don't do it." A burly voice said. Berwald turned around to find Ludwig standing there with a stern face, yet sympathetic eyes.

"And why not?" Berwald cocked an eyebrow.

Ludwig sighed, as though it was obvious as to why not to let the Frenchman get anywhere near people.

"Don't do it." A (awesome) voice said behind Ludwig. The man appeared to be Gilbert.

"Why? I just want to know why I'm here..."

"Please, don't do it." A Chinese man and Feliciano popped up behind the two Germans.

"Just please tell me why..."

"_Ple-ease, don't leave me." _a familiar voice sang. Berwald turned around in shock. He proceeded to turn towards the stage, to see standing there with a bejeweled mic, his previous lover, Feliks.


End file.
